Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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