But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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