She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
