Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
