This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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