i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
