Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
