North Korea, Best Korea!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize