They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
