Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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