I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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