false alarm. still invincible.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
