No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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