Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
