im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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