Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
