I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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