I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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