i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
