Got a toothbrush?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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