1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
