I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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