And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
