do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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