So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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