just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
