can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
