Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
