I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
did i walk over a car last night?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
