In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
