my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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