so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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