Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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