Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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  (954): I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay. http://tfl.nu/qnk1
  Replies (32) Good night (1410) Bad night (5293) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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  (864): We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game. http://tfl.nu/1oa9
  Replies (28) Good night (5263) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5170) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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  (732): she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious http://tfl.nu/xtk1
  Replies (47) Good night (2607) Bad night (11094)
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  (323): View more from California

  Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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  (323): Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups. http://tfl.nu/guyb
  Replies (7) Good night (3683) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

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  (717): He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger http://tfl.nu/u6xr
  Replies (22) Good night (1286) Bad night (4884)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  "Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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  (403): "Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/bmms
  Replies (15) Good night (3439) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

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  (313): We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us http://tfl.nu/w5tj
  Replies (2) Good night (2212) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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  (317): Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success. http://tfl.nu/9gb8
  Replies (9) Good night (3723) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.

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  (303): Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential. http://tfl.nu/x59i
  Replies (6) Good night (1778) Bad night (885)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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  (480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg
  Replies (3) Good night (3864) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  being pregnant is like rehab

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  (307): being pregnant is like rehab http://tfl.nu/vkth
  Replies (8) Good night (671) Bad night (1752) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made

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  (714): Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made http://tfl.nu/j4f1
  Replies (7) Good night (1570) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

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  (832): My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am http://tfl.nu/1emj
  Replies (7) Good night (664) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Any good?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point

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  (515): You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka. (1-515): Any good? (515): Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point http://tfl.nu/htpx
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (184)

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