i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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