I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
