that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
