i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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