i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
