I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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