I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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