Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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