you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
