Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
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As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And then my night got REAL pukey
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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