Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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