I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
