You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
