I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
