Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!