im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
