I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
im on a boat
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