Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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