It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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