Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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